Office Staff
Meet the Office Staff
Every great business needs a strong support team. Ours incudes a few permanent lounge buckets and some temporary staff currently seeking their FURever positions.
Their qualifications are questionable, their productivity varies, and sleeping on the job is common, but morale remains exceptionally high.
Our Resident Staff
Chief Compliance Officer
As the longest-serving member of the team, Stash takes workplace standards very seriously. He patrols the office with dog-like dedication, responds promptly when summoned, fetches at his leisure, and maintains a rigorous quality-control program primarily focused on food.
Intense, highly motivated, and never more than one snack away from a performance review, Stash ensures that household operations remain firmly under his supervision.
Stashiford
Head of Security
Mozzy oversees all matters of home security with an impressive combination of vigilance and volume. He promptly announces approaching visitors, unexpected activity, and an unauthorized creatures foolish enough to breach the perimeter.
An accomplished hunter with a softer side, Mozzy is equally dedicated to affection and takes employee wellness very seriously. He may be loud, but no one can claim they weren’t warned.
Mozzarella String Cheese
Our Temporary Staff
Currently accepting applications for permanent placement. Think one of our temps deserves a promotion to permanent family member? Apply to adopt
Director of Employee Relations
Cookies
Cookies joined the temporary staff and immediately began improving workplace morale. Affectionate from day one, he specializes in cuddles, companionship, and making sure no one is left to work alone.
Playful and social, Cookies is happiest with a human or feline coworker nearby and takes his team-building responsibilities very seriously. He is also very enthusiastic participant in catered lunches, particularly when moist food is on the menu.
Ideal permanent placement: A home where companionship is readily available and nobody minds having an extremely dedicated little coworker.
Director of Client Retention
Cream
Cream took a little time to warm up to her new position, preferring to carefully evaluate management before committing. A strategic combination of good food and a gentle affection eventually earned her trust, and she has been making up for lost time ever since.
Now an enthusiastic advocate for hands-on client engagement, Cream knows exactly when she would like attention and is remarkably persistent about receiving it. She remains highly food-motivated and firmly believes that once a relationship has been established, it should be maintained.
Ideal permanent placement: A patient, loving home willing to give her a little time to settle in, and plenty of affection once she decides you’re hers. ❤️